Harder Roads

by Mr John

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1.
04:20
2.
03:39
3.
4.
04:15
5.
05:18
6.
7.
03:30
8.
04:00
9.
10.
04:10

credits

released July 23, 2016

John McQuiston: vocals, acoustic and electric guitars, keyboards, MIDI programming, drum programming. All songs written and recorded by Mr John. (c) 2016 John McQuiston. All rights reserved.

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license

all rights reserved

about

Mr John Tampa, Florida

Journalist of star treks, reporter of love songs, and writer of daydreams. I rip myself open, write the devils down, stand in front of strangers and set my soul to sound.

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Track Name: Reborn
How long had it been
Since I last heard your name
A lifetime of dollars
A fortune in days

Wherever you'd gone to
Now we lie here
The pain you hold onto
Can fade with your fears

I'd love to touch you
In all kinds of places
And make love to you
In all kinds of ways

But what I want now
Beneath this blue moon
Is to build you a shelter
And wrap a cocoon

Shepherd you safely
Watch you transform
Hold you unstirring
And release you reborn

So we will imagine
This can be done
When you close your eyes
And you let sleep come

We'll take all of your sorrows
Change all their names
Take all you borrowed
And make it repaid

I wish I had magic
To wash all away
But I'll give you an ally
To face the dark days

And what I want now
Beneath this blue moon
Is to build you a shelter
And wrap a cocoon

Shepherd you safely
Watch you transform
Hold you unstirring
And release you reborn

Like chronic disease
With no known cure
You live a new normal
You learn to restore

You never forget
What you've endured
But on good days
It can feel like before

So show me a smile
You might not yet feel
We'll work on what's broken
Let time help heal

And what I want now
Beneath this blue moon
Is to build you a shelter
And wrap a cocoon

Shepherd you safely
Watch you transform
Hold you unstirring
And release you reborn
Track Name: Harder Roads
I was little once
But I was never young
Made to fill in for a father
When I wished to stay a son

And I learned early enough
To live without my wants
Disappointment can be tough
But it teaches you the cost

And I
I
Rode on harder roads
And I
I
Rode out there alone

Another winter morning
In the middle of July
The sentry gave no warning
And I'm always stuck outside

I have achings to make airplanes
Turn and take me home
With the pick of all directions
Don't know which to make them go

And I
I
Rode on harder roads
And I
I
Rode out there alone

I walk on hostile sidewalks
And knock on foreign doors
The weather's not what wears me
And makes it seem so cold

I love when people tell you
You can be what you want to be
Like you wave a magic wand
And make dollars from your dreams

Because I cuddle with the steel
And caress the whetted blade
I take comfort from my weapons
And dream of dragons I will slay

And I
I
Rode on harder roads
And I
I
Rode out there alone

Go selling all my relics
When I'm dead and gone
So I won't look back on my time
And see how rarely I belonged

I was little once
But I was never young
Made to fill in for a father
When I wished to stay a son
Track Name: Lose Without Missing
I well know beware my wishes
To give you new life to lead
If you find the path to happy
It could mean that I must bleed

I built you up when you were beaten down
Held hands to stand you on your feet
How good it is to watch you running now
How sad it will be to see you leave

Forgive my selfish moments
When I want to keep you mine
I want to dissolve inside myself
Drown my senses for a while

I want to look without seeing
I want to touch without feeling
I want to hear without listening
I want to lose without missing

I well know you feel most grateful
That I could meet your deepest needs
The job is done the moment fateful
You will ask me to set you free

I am more than half filled with joy
With the rest of me left empty
Take on your hurt and feel like dying
That's my bittersweet destiny

Forgive my selfish moments
When I want to make you stay
I once wore the shining armor
Now I wear a shroud of gray

I want to look without seeing
I want to touch without feeling
I want to hear without listening
I want to lose without missing

Forgive my selfish moments
When I want to keep you mine
I want to dissolve inside myself
End my senses for a while

I want to look without seeing
I want to touch without feeling
I want to hear without listening
I want to lose without missing
Track Name: Kingdom Come
Fateful day to go to work
One morning early in Roanoke
Someone shows up with a grudge
And on live TV he settles up

Welcome to America
We take the crazies and give them guns
Over and over nothing's done
But prayers offered with shoulders shrugged

Take the crazies
Give them guns
Call it freedom
Or call it nuts
Keep your prayers
They don't do much
On a bullet train
To kingdom come

Parents drop their kids at school
A December day at Sandy Hook
Twenty dead at six years old
From first grade to their funerals

Welcome to America
Our school rooms stained with children's blood
Over and over same song sung
Such tragedies are now ho hum

Take the crazies
Give them guns
Call it freedom
Or call it nuts
Keep your prayers
They don't do much
On a bullet train
To kingdom come

Premiere night on Aurora, CO
Minutes into the midnight show
Full metal jacket attack is on
The Dark Knight ends with 12 more gone

Welcome to America
We take the crazies and give them guns
Over and over nothing's done
We can't decide we've had enough

Take the crazies
Give them guns
Call it freedom
Or call it nuts
Keep your prayers
They don't do much
On a bullet train
To kingdom come
Track Name: My Peace
That old cliché about people parted
That the home is where the heart is
And their triteness makes them no less true
All my soul is there with you

In endless travels across dark lands
I always trusted you'd understand
Of all these places I make my stands
That my home is in your hands

What we make of the time we have here
And what I take from you I hold dear
In between what they say and what they mean
I hear your voice and I have my peace

We are the sums of all we've seen
All we've broken all we've healed
All we told and all we concealed
Beneath our veneers we are revealed

All we're after all we've caught
All we wanted all we bought
All we're given all we've lost
All we live for is in my heart

What we make of the time we have here
And what I take from you I hold dear
In between what they say and what they mean
I hear your voice and I have my peace
Track Name: The Way It Goes
Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I know
Sometimes I think I know
But I don't

There are answers
Beyond my grasp
Some things I think I should know
I have to ask

And that's just the way
Of the world
It's just the way
That it goes

It's not freedom
When you set me free
Some things I think I deserve
Are not meant to be

There is wisdom
I'll not be told
Some things I think make me wise
Just make me old

And that's the way
That it goes
It's just the way
Of the world

I ask myself
What is my fate
Sometimes I think it's my turn
But I have to wait

There are meanings
I'm not meant to know
Some things I want so much
But the answer is no

And that's the way
Of the world
It's just the way
That it goes
Track Name: Sorry
Dear lady
I tucked you into me
You were an isle of heaven
As I sailed the devil's sea

Oh lady
You tried to sow a need
You gave a taste of sweetness
As I waded bitter fields

There was nothing I could ask for
That you wouldn't try to give
And I'm sorry that I could not
Want to need your kiss

There was nothing I could want
That you wouldn't try to be
And I'm sorry that I could not
Give you all of me

Dear lady
Oh precious company
You answered every echo
When I fell among the trees

But lady
The twain shall never meet
I didn't mean to crush your heart
As I stood back on my feet

There was nothing I could ask for
That you wouldn't try to give
And I'm sorry that I could not
Want to need your kiss

There was nothing I could want
That you wouldn't try to be
And I'm sorry that I could not
Give you all of me

Dear lady
A flower doesn't fly
You dreamed our vivid plans
While I passed a faded time

Oh lady
It's not a cushion lie
You deserve a better man
Than one searching for his rhyme

There was nothing I could ask for
That you wouldn't try to give
And I'm sorry that I could not
Want to need your kiss

There was nothing I could want
That you wouldn't try to be
And I'm sorry that I could not
Give you all of me
Track Name: Name
You got your claws out
You’re going all out
You want to see me pay
Don’t get your facts right
Before you go start a fight
Now I get my say

I do not miss you
There is no more to do
I learned to turn the page
So if I shout it out
And if I tell it loud
No one will no your name

Yes you were done with me
And I was slow to see
I got the memo late
So please forgive me
For having feelings
That don’t evaporate

I do not miss it
I readjusted
I went along my way
I did not bend the truth
I did not tell on you
Nobody knows your name

You want discretion
What about your best friends
You told in great detail
I kept my mouth shut
I kept the tie cut
But you turned up again

I do not miss you
There is no more to do
I learned to turn the page
Now if I shout it out
And if I tell it loud
No one will know your name

You don’t want answers
You want my hands up
You'll get your war your way
You laid the cards out
You want to hash out
We're gonna raise the pain

I did not miss it
I readjusted
I went along my way
I did not bend the truth
I did not tell on you
Nobody knows your name

I do not miss you
There is no more to do
I learned to turn the page
Now if I shout it out
And if I tell it loud
No one will know your name
Track Name: Blue Sky Rain
Burden me now with tales to tell
Of those who listened and then played deaf
The guilt hurts less than the regrets
Give me an angel I'll show what's left

From here the day may grow dark
Enjoy easy times before it gets hard
Question the crowd the cries and the craze
When you see the unexplained
Like Blue Sky Rain

Borrow me now to get you through broke hearts
Spill yourself to me rid yourself bad thoughts
This rented love for which I'll grow too fond
Will give me glory now until you're gone

From here the day may grow dark
Enjoy easy times before it gets hard
Question the lord the light and the lady
When they misuse the unexplained
Like Blue Sky Rain

Cover me now so I won't want
Cold and alone left with all I've lost
Sell me a soul so I won't feel bought
Thank you for comfort upon these rocks

From here the day may grow dark
Enjoy easy times before it gets hard
Question the wise the wheres and the ways
To understand the unexplained
Like Blue Sky Rain
Track Name: Go On
In the day I dream
Just like when I sleep
In my dreams I see
Your arms around me

Still all my dreams
Are just fantasies
As I long for you
Hopefully

Because I can't go on
Any more like this
The way that I
Miss your kiss

I've been away
Too long a time
I've got no right
To call you mine

Still all the while
I could feel you near
Wishes you whispered
I could hear

And I can't go on
Any more this way
Not another day
Will I stay away

If I could read your mind
I would see a sign
Show me the way
I want to find

What you mean to me
I'm just beginning to see
Of all things you need
Say one is me

Because I can't go on
Any more like this
The way that I
Miss your kiss

And I can't go on
Any more this way
Not another day
Will I stay away